How to be popular among Indian Elders?

We all have been in that space: surrounded by elders, finding yourself irrelevant to old timers, expression less reaction when they fart loudly and sulking when they want to discuss IPL with you.

So let me help you with some tested and tried methods to make you friends with Indian Elderly community:

1. Ask about their Bowel Movements or Acidity as Ice-breaker

This is from the old commercial of Kaayam Churan. Kinda creepy
This is from the old commercial of Kaayam Churan. Kinda creepy

The connect between the elders and young-ones are difficult to make because elders think that all the young people are worried about are first World problems: like global warming, inflation and nuclear war. What we are missing are the real problems like Constipation, pills and acidity. Ask them about their Bowel movements and you might become their best friend

 

2. Give him permission to pick-up your future spouse.

Nothing will give them more honor than a permission for pick your future bride or groom. After all these years of networking and connections, where else but in arrange marriage they can leverage it. So gear up for your next wing-wan.

I am gonna offer you a mate you can't refuse
I am gonna offer you a mate you can’t refuse

3. Tell him about your girl-friend (even if you have to made her up)

The time you tell them about your girlfriend/boyfriendn and they will be filled with excitement, specially with the joy of being a chosen one with the sensitive information. Even if you are not in relationship, I suggest you make one up to earn a new best friend in the family.

Word of warning: They might act cool but they will be full of skepticalism and will be asking you lots of questions

Play it cool !
Play it cool !

4. Say “I will think about it” even to most bizarre suggestion

Seniors sometimes can catch you on the spot and can spare you with the most bizarre of suggestions. They might suggest you to apply cow’s pee in your face pimple or put plastic covers over your laptop for the protection from the dust. Please don’t hurt their sentiments by going straight no on the face and say “I will think about it” with some grace.

Kripaa aayegi
Kripaa aayegi

5 Compliment that he looks like the actor of his time:

Compare him with someone of his time and you are his hero for life. Here are some notable comparisons :

a. If he is 40 years to50 :  Sunny Deol

b. 50 years- 60 years: Amitabh Bachchan

c. 60-65 years: Rajesh Khanna

d.  70-80 years: Dilip Kumar

e. 80 + years: A K Hangal

f. A K Hangal + : The Mummy

Ohh.. The good old days
Ohh.. The good old days

6. Teach him how to use I-phone

For Indian elders, I-phone is the most difficult machine in the world. If they borrow someone’s cellphone to call, and it turns out to be an i-phone, it is his worst nightmare. So, if you are able to give some tips, probably teach them about app store, you are their friends for life.

"Phones are for calling right "?
“Phones are for calling right “?

7. Be friends with them on Facebook

Make friends with them on facebook, like their religious status, laugh at their stone-age jokes and you can become their second favorite person (after Mark Zuckerberg).

Okay !
Okay !

 

More Puns on my Blog 

Guide book to Indian Wedding

 

How to know if your friend is

doing MBA 

 

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