Cricket: Bollywood songs which can Improve Team India’s Performance (#Puns)

The state of Indian Cricket
The state of Indian Cricket

The way Team India is performing is giving hard time to cricket fans in India. While the newbies are acting in total disbelief by the performance aboard, the likes of me who grew up in 90s see it as Deja vu. We were so used to bad performances that sometimes we choosed Shekhar Suman over Live cricket (Ok, that only happened once )

Bollywood songwriters were most instrumental in inspiring and improving the performance of the national team in the 90s. The legends says that “Choli pe pecche Kya Hai” inspired Vinod Kamli to slam 2 double tons, one for his each man boob. But this song lost its meaning when Robin Singh was ignored for the test squad for England at the tender age of 36(D).

Here are the list of songs which can help the current bunch of cricketers who are failing to perform in the third most important stage (obviously after IPL and Jhalak Diklaja ). These songs have encrypted message for which Cricket analyst like Veena Malik and Saba Karim can be consulted  to break the code.

1. Hi Hukku Hi Hukku Hai Hai (Gopi Kishan )

Not only the song, entire movie was encrypted to show the sorry state of Indian Cricket. Sunil Shetty played double role. While the first character was brave, clever and winner, representing Indian Cricket Team in India, the other character looked similar but was loser in core nature, representing Team India aboard. Suniel Shetty wore a shirt with 800 font size ‘SODA’ written over it. It mocked the half successful cricketers’ eagerness to work with Soda brands.

In this particular song, the message was very clear:  how to deal with the Short ball . The answer is “High Hook High Hook High High “(recite it 15 times, really fast. You might feel like Ricky Pointing or Charlie Sheen ). The cricketer who was most benefited by this song was Sunil Joshi.

2. Bholi Bhali Ladki (Sabse Bada Khiladi )

Again this song represent 2 layers of metaphors for Indian Cricket of the era. Mamta Kulkarni represented the state of middle order of India which was too shy to open up. Like Mamta Banerjee  Kulkarni tried her best to save her modesty by not opening up her pyar wali khirdki (face of the bat) spite of the many pleas by Akshay Kumar . The song inspired some of the batsmen to realize their potential and help them achieve a respectable strike rate of 55 runs per 100 balls. The comparison with Mamta Kulkarni was very flattering for some of them.

Hemant Badani, File picture
Hemant Badani, File picture

The most benefited  by the song was Hemant Badani who played the match winning knock in the Independence Cup in Bangladesh.

3. Saath Samundhar Paar (Vishwatma) 

Long before Indian team’s WAGS started touring with the team, this song was a secret initiative by the BCCI for the lonely boys in the long tours overseas. The idea was to replace their absent WAGs with the fantasies of Divya Bharti. This worked initially before Mohammad Azharuddin got married to Sangeeta Bijlani. Fabio Capello also used this movie during England’s 2010 World Cup Camp but failed because of presence of Chunky Pandey in the movie which caused too much distraction to the players.

Other notable song which helped Indian team during Turbulent times were:

a. Yeh Desh Hai Veer Jawano ka (Naya Daur) : This patriotic song was played in Baraat just before the first night of the marriage to boil the masculinity of the groom before the intercourse .  Parthiv Patel was given the dose of this song to escape his years of puberty which paid off badly.

b. Songs of Altaf Raja : It inspired/hypnotized  Abhey Kurvilla and Debashish Mohanty to believe that they could play for India and cure cancer.

The flying machine
The flying machine

I hope BCCI goes back to old techniques in reviving the fortunes of the team. Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Puns on My Blog 

Guide book to Indian Wedding

 

How to know if your friend is

doing MBA 

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