New Premier League season has begun and I went to Man Utd Cafe to catch the first game of the season (Swansea v/s MUFC). As excited I was, i reached there before the kickoff and had to kill some time by ears-dropping at the loud conversation behind me (If you are curious, I drafted it a month ago before publishing it ). Apparently, a football follower was telling his non-football friend about Football giving some annoying Cricket metaphoric examples. Some of his statements are :
Statement 1: “Dude, do you know Allianz Arena? They spend 2 Billion Euros to build that stadium .”
Truth: Though Allianz Arena is a fantastic stadium, it was not build for 2 Billion Euros (340 Million Euros). Even Bayern Munich is not worth 2 Billion Euros. Dude, that is seriously loads of money.
Statement 2: ” Real Madrid man… They are spending 100 Million Euros on 1 player. That is like more than entire IPL”
Truth: Real Madrid might spend 100 Millions on 1 player (I think so “the Dude” was talking about Bale), but that is not more than entire IPL. In-fact, IPL is valued at $3.03 Billions. Yes, European football is big, but IPL is also not so bad (I mean purely Money wise).
Statement 3: “Vidic is fantastic. He is like Rahul Dravid of Football.”
Truth : No comments please !!
The truth is that we have lost the track of money, specially when it comes in strange currencies like Euros, Dollars and Pound. I one the reasons that we lost the track of money is the movie Race 2.
Race 2’s Guide to Money in Euros
Directer duo, Abbas Mustan are very famous in India for bringing Double Crossing, Cheating and Wife Swapping into big screen. This movie was no different. Who is cheating whom , and who is smarter than whom, you will never know. The movie in question is “My audience is stupid” kind of high budget revenge and betrayal packed movie.
If I start noting the foolishness of the movie, then I have to write entire series to support it, hence, I am focusing on money part of the movie only : Here are some of the transactions in the money:
The “Fun” Transactions
Step 1: Saif Ali Khan’s character offers 2 Billion Real-like-fake Euros to the owner-of-5-casino in exchange of 500 Million Euros. Impressed by quality of notes, he agrees and ask 24 hours to arrange the cash
Step 2: 5-Casino guy goes to John’s character (who is the most dangerous thing in Istanbul) asking for 500 Million Euros. The bad guy makes him sign the contract that if he cant pay it up, he will end up losing all his casinos.
Step 3: Saif brings Truck full of notes and gets his 500 Million Euros in ‘Cash’. The Twist is that Saif gave him the Fake of Real-like-Fake Euros. The guy looses his casinos to the bad guy. Can’t Miss it, right ?
What The F: So, you need some cash, and you go to the most dangerous guy in the Country get it. You have 5 casinos and considering the kind of leverage you might have, you still go to the guy. And the guy, legally binds you in a written Contract which obliged you to “legally” transfer your casinos to him in the event of non payment of his legally unaccounted cash. That totally makes sense. Also you dont check the Real-like-Fake Euros from the guy you just met yesterday. Well, thats how it works !!
Meanwhile Dont miss this gem i found on Youtube
This time Saif wants to pull real guns and make Billions. So he plans to rob Holy Shroud of Turin. One of the most secure artifact, surely its a pricey stuff. Abbas-Mustan values it at 50 Billion euros (I am no kidding).
Step 1: He steps up the robbery. Convinces John to Invest 15 Billion Euros (plus 5 billion Euros of his own) so that they can make 30 billion profit from selling it.
Step 2: John, convinced of Saif’s intention of dubbing him, still agrees to invest that money(We are talking about 15 Billion Euros). However, he involves someone who is considered to be Godfather of underworld into this, because Fu*k Logic.
Step 3: The Godfather agrees to pay the amount to John , if he wrestles and kills the fighter, which obviously he agrees and does it smoothly. Sounds like happy ending, right ? Not yet.
Step 4: For the sake of sanity, this time the transaction is not in cash but in bonds (I don’t know which bank issues that kind of bond to one person). Saif Shroud to John, but he is poisoned by John, so John flies away with 20 Billion cash plus Shroud worth 50 Billion Shroud. Total of 70 Billion Euros (The amount which can solve India’s Balance of Payment crisis #Justsaying)
Step 5: Somehow Saif escapes the poison-gate (i really dont want to go in to details), enters Johns plane, take the money (and the girl ofcourse)
What the F: An ancient artifact, which is not even proved authentic is valued 50 Billion Euros and is robed with ease? surely the kids will think that that kind of money is what it takes to be a gangster !!
The climax of the money is so idiotic that I am sharing the behind the scene video , so that it looks more sensible than it actually is.
Have a look
Well, the concept of money is so difficult to understand for most of people, and movie like Race 2 will make it impossible for them to ever understand. By the Way, do watch the movie, if you can. Few scenes can make even Kanti Shah smile.
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